Slip Up's That Can Spoil Your Wedding Ceremony - The Fidgety Flower Girl

By Maureen Thomson

Let's face it, the only reason we have little kids in our ceremonies is for the cute affect. Three year old Lilly Mae doesn't even know why she's being asked to prance down the aisle tossing flower petals on the ground and the adorable nephew in the too-big mini tuxedo is more interested in tossing the ring bearer pillow at his older brother than he is in carrying it serenely down the aisle.
Ah, children. The only things more unpredictable at a wedding are animals. No...strike that. Children can be way more of a loose cannon than Fido.

Consider the case of the wedding party with four--count 'em f-o-u-r flower girls at an upscale hotel. The ceremony was held on the rooftop deck at one end of the swimming pool. (Yes, you can see where this is going to end up, don't you?) Each adorable child seriously made her way around the pool and down the petal-strewn aisle.

Until Adele.

Four year old Adele, like the others, was wearing a tiny crown of miniature roses and babies breath. Unfortunately, it wasn't tiny enough. As she began her walk, the crown started to slip perilously over her forehead. When it hit her eyes, Adele simply tilted her head upwards so she could see, vaguely reminiscent of someone playing pin the tail on the donkey, only with a basket of petals as opposed to a tail in her outstretched hand.

As little Adele teetered blindly at the edge of the pool, Dad made a valiant attempt to get to the child before she went ass over teakettle into the blue water. Fortunately, he made it in time, but not before there was a collective intake of breath from the audience precipitated by a shriek from the child's mother.

Yep--it was a bit of a heart-stopper for a few moments. Luckily, the officiant (that would be yours truly) was able to make a lighthearted comment at the start of the ceremony about the near-miss and all went smoothly after that (although the bride must have been a bit confused about my comment as, being in pre-walk-down-the-aisle seclusion with her dad, she missed the entire episode--trust me, this was a good thing).

So, as cute as the little darlings are, children can contribute to both small mishaps as well as full scale ceremony catastrophes if you don't use some common sense.

Here are some tips:
· Consider the age and temperament of the child before having him or her in your wedding party. A scared and screaming two year old does NOT lend anything adorable to your wedding. It puts the child under needless pressure and stresses out your guests, who must witness the episode.
· And speaking of age and temperament, do NOT give the real rings to a ring bearer under six years of age (maybe eight). Give them some fake rings and then you can relax if the pillow goes sailing.
· Have a pitcher and a catcher for small kids who will be walking down the aisle. A familiar adult to start them off and another one to coax them down the aisle will work miracles.
· If you must include very young ones, consider having an older child or the maid of honor push them in a stroller or pull them in a wagon. Still adorable, but easier and safer for all.
· Don't have the children stand up front during the ceremony, but rather have them be seated with family members in the "audience" after they finish their part of the processional. There's nothing better (or worse) than a fidgety child to take the focus off the bride, the groom and the vows. Let them have a seat and even better, have some quiet toys waiting for them to keep them occupied for the duration of the ceremony.
· Most important, don't expect perfection from children. Don't stress if they don't perform up to expectations. If you're the bride that needs a picture-perfect ceremony, then it's best to refrain from having kids in the wedding party at all.
And, oh yeah--make sure her crown of roses are the right size. Or else, stick a life jacket on her!


Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and is the owner of Lyssabeth’s Wedding Officiants and writes a popular blog about all things wedding related. Visit her websites at: Lyssabeth's Western Slope Wedding Officiants , Lyssabeth's blog and Write Your Own Wedding Ceremony E-kit