Are You a Cheap or Frugal Bride?

by Maureen Thomson

Quick! What's the difference between being frugal and being cheap?

One who is frugal looks for the best value for their money. One who is cheap will consider paying only the rock-bottom price for anything, regardless of the quality.

In applying that to those planning their wedding ceremony, I offer some distinctions:

A cheap bride is everyone's worst nightmare. She will lower herself to commit unspeakable acts of mayhem all for the glory of bragging about the great deal she obtained. A frugal bride, on the other hand, is genuinely admired for her skill at determining what she wants and thoughtfully pursuing affordable and good-quality resources to bring her desires into reality.

Cheap brides enter the wedding planning process armed with an attitude of lack. "I don't have the money." "It's too expensive." "Wedding vendors only want to charge top dollar and rip you off." "I can't afford that." "I'm so jealous, So-and-so had so much more money to spend on her wedding."

Frugal brides take on the task of planning their wedding with an attitude of joy (and perhaps a bit of adventure). "How can I make this work?" "What are my priorities for my wedding day and how do I budget accordingly?" "How creative can I get?" "Can I do this myself or with the help of my friends and family?" "How did other brides do things creatively and frugally?"

Cheap brides begin every vendor contact with "How much is it?" Frugal brides ask more thoughtful questions, learn what the vendor offers and if the services are more than they can afford will say, "Your service sounds perfect for me, but my budget is $X.XX. Is there any way your package can be modified to accommodate me?"

Cheap brides tend to be...well...kinda victimy (there just isn't a tactful way to say it). "Poor me, I can't have the wedding day of my dreams because (fill in the blank) I don't make enough money, my parents can't afford it, wedding vendors are all in cahoots to scam me, I'm not creative, I'm too busy, yada, yada, yada..."

Cheap brides tend to perceive their wedding vendors (once they finally find the cheapest they can find and actually hire them) as their adversaries. The assume that the vendor is only out to take advantage of them by maximizing their profit. She has already browbeaten them down to their lowest possible fee, but then the cheap bride must also be hyper-vigilant to ensure that her vendors toe the line and do everything that she is paying for them to do (which quite frankly, probably isn't much).

The frugal bride realizes that reputable vendors truly want her to have the best wedding day experience possible. That is, after all, how they stay in business. She expresses her wishes and trusts their professional judgment and integrity knowing that her vendors are on her side.

Frugal brides tend to be more realistic. "I may have to cut back my guest list if I want to have a higher-end meal for the reception." "If we save money by making our own invitations, then I can splurge on the high-end photographer I love." "I'd like to be married in a romantic ceremony for just the two of us so we can use the money for something else."

For a cheap bride, getting something for a rock bottom price is the primary objective. She will opt for the vendor whose style doesn't suit her simply because they have the lowest price. She will ferret out the lowest price possible for every aspect of her wedding.

A frugal bride takes into account price, quality, and perhaps (in cases such as the officiant, the photographer or the wedding planner) the connection she has with the vendor. She is also realistic about her life situation, how much time she has, what her talents and resources are and she chooses vendors or DIY projects accordingly.

It's been my experience that frugal brides put much more thought into their wedding planning than cheap brides. This makes sense, for a frugal bride is guided by many criteria: budget, time, values, experience, research, resources and priorities. The cheap bride, on the other hand, has only one objective: to get it as cheaply as possible.

Which would you rather be, cheap or frugal?


Maureen Thomson is a wedding officiant and is the owner of Lyssabeth’s Wedding Officiants and is also the author of a DIY Write Your Own Ceremony E-Kit.. Visit her websites at: Lyssabeth's Wedding Officiants , Lyssabeth's Fort Collins Wedding Officiants and Write Your Own Wedding Ceremony E-kit